


give the gift that fits your head

by sandyk



Category: Superstore (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 20:07:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14722769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandyk/pseuds/sandyk
Summary: Ready to date, Amy thought. Ready to get laid and not by Adam.





	give the gift that fits your head

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks a! Not mine, no profit garnered. Title from the national's turtleneck.

Amy woke up bleary eyed and exhausted and wearing an Obama t-shirt. She was sore and she thought, "Shit. Shit." 

She got dressed and went to the Crestwood Cloud 9. She was not asking Tate for this. Except the Crestwood pharmacist gave her this look, this deeply judgey look. Tate just would have made fun of her. And told everyone. Amy sighed. She looked at the stupid judgey pharmacist and said, "You know, I am being responsible. I had unprotected sex and now I am getting the morning after pill so I don't have a baby. That's responsible."

She marched out before she realized she was wearing her family reunion t-shirt inside out without a bra on. Whatever, she needed to express herself.

She felt gross and crampy for a day or two but then she felt much better. 

Ready to date, she thought. Ready to get laid and not by Adam. 

She slept with Alex on their first date. She didn't even ask about a condom, he just pulled one out. Like a gentleman. They fucked and fucked, it was wonderful. 

Amy confessed her Spanish wasn't great and Alex made a joke about her Latina card. She flinched a little. He said, "Sorry, sorry. My sister is the worst. She's great but she got super political in college. Suddenly she judges everyone who says they're Latinx but can't speak Spanish. You should hear her on that chick from Jane the Virgin."

"Or Jessica Alba, I guess," Amy said. 

"No, Jessica Alba prostrated herself and begged forgiveness and took classes to learn Spanish. Really, this isn't something you ever want to talk to her about."

"You expect we'll hang out with your sister?" Amy smiled.

"I hope so," he said.

Which she did. She was in such a fucking good mood. Alex even helped her sign up for skydiving lessons.

She noticed that Kelly and Jonah broke up, she noticed Jonah was moping. She cared about him so much. But.

Amy mentioned the bang room to Alex and he said they should try it. Amy said, "It's basically a photo lab. It's a table and some counters."

"So much sex has happened there. You did it with your ex there, right?"

"We did it in our house, too, a lot more, so we've covered that," Amy said.

"I just thought it would be fun to have sex at your workplace. Then we can do it at mine," Alex said.

"The idea is hot but stupid," Amy said. "Okay."

Alex was sitting on the table with his pants around his thighs while Amy's skirt was up around her waist, her breasts hanging out of her bra, and she was straddling him, his mouth on her breast and his dick so deep in her, Alex had been so right -

And there was a frantic knock on the door. "Hey, um," Jonah said. 

Amy caught her breath and said, "Go away."

"The new district manager and Glenn are coming this way," Jonah said. He opened the door and she could see him looking and then he closed the door quickly. "You two duck down behind the table and get dressed or whatever. I'll distract Laurie."

"Thanks," Alex said, as they did what he said. Amy didn't want to admit she'd had a mindblowing orgasm exactly when Jonah was looking at them but she was pretty sure he saw it. Alex had come when Jonah knocked. They were both fucking pervs. 

Laurie came in as Alex got the condom off, and Amy had tucked herself back into her bra and buttoned up her shirt. Jonah said, "Laurie, Glenn, wow. I just came in here to meditate."

Glenn said, "Oh, we should leave you alone."

Laurie said, "This place is mess. In most of the stores I've been in, employees use this room for sex."

"They do," Jonah said. "But, like, sex is, sex is joining and intimacy, and joy and I find all that energy really puts me in a calm place." 

Alex was covering his mouth not to laugh. He was fully dressed. Amy was looking for her vest. She finally got it on but she wasn't sure she could just pop up after Jonah's weird talk. Alex mouthed something and waved his hands around his hair. Amy touched her hair. She definitely had sex hair. She pulled it back and found a rubber band to make a ponytail. Alex gave her a thumbs up. 

Laurie said, "What? Are you on drugs?"

"No, high on life. I've actually been going through a lot lately, I broke up with my girlfriend, I moved into a new place, I'm in my thirties, you know, and I have a degree from Vassar and here I am at Cloud 9. It's a lot to think about. Global warming."

Glenn said, "We should just leave him to his meditating, Laurie. I think it's a religious protection thing, you know how corporate feels about that after those Buddhists sued us."

Laurie said, "We're going to talk about this later."

After the door closed, Jonah said, "Wait. Laurie can be tricky." 

"Good point," Amy said. After a few minutes they both stood up. Jonah wouldn't exactly meet their eyes. 

Jonah said, "You should leave separately, I think, maybe Alex first."

"Okay," Alex said. He kissed Amy on the mouth and messed up her hair again. He said thank you to Jonah as he left.

Amy said, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to see that. Were you, you knew we were in here?"

"I just, I saw you two headed this way and assumed," Jonah said. "I'm not stalking you."

"I know," she said. "I feel bad, though. I know." Amy looked at her hands. "I'm sorry we never talked about when you kissed me, when we kissed. I should have. I feel like our friendship really suffered. And then like, you were dating Kelly and I thought it might stir things up."

"If we had talked, I would have said I kissed you because I wanted to, I wanted from, like, the first day I started here. But then I found out you were married, so." Jonah shrugged. "I thought maybe if you were divorced, maybe you would want me."

"Yeah," Amy said. "I did. I liked you. But there was. You know, I had sex with Adam, can you believe it? Recently. We didn't even use birth control. So I went and got the morning after pill, and then I yelled at a pharmacist who just didn't like my t-shirt. It was, like, empowering. I don't know why."

"Great story," Jonah said. "So basically maybe we both liked each other, had a crush on each other and it didn't line up. Maybe I should be meditating."

"I'm sorry. I just meant to say thank you and for some stupid reason I thought thank you should include some honesty," Amy said. "I should get back to work."

"I'm going to meditate," Jonah said. "With disinfecting spray."

"Good idea," Amy said.

They had great sex at Alex's workplace. It was in the bathroom, but good enough, Amy thought. She liked him, she liked him so much. 

"I don't think I'll ever be in love with him, though," Amy said. She said it out loud in her car to no one. She had no one to talk to. Dina would be comforting in a way but she felt Dina didn't really get comforting. Garrett had seemed sort of extra mean this year. Her friendship with Cheyenne felt completely strained. Glenn would want her to marry Alex. It would be cruel to do that to Jonah. 

She'd met all of Alex's family and he'd met hers and things were moving along like they were in love. Like they were going to be in love. But Amy wasn't sure she saw it happening. Not ever. It was harsh.

She told Alex over dinner. He said, "We've been dating for three months and you already know you won't ever love me? Was it something I said?"

"No, no, like, of course I like you. I really like you. The sex is great. I'm so happy when I'm with you. But it never quite jumps over the limbo stick or whatever to love. Maybe I don't know what love is. I don't know if Adam and I were ever in love. Maybe I'm being an idiot," Amy said. She knew nothing, she was so close to crying.

"It's like in a job interview when someone says where you do see yourself in five years?" Alex's expression was soft. He was such a nice guy. In the real meaning of it. "You don't see yourself with me."

"I see us, I see us right about here. Right where we are right now. Not married, no kids. Just still having sex and being happy," Amy said.

"That sounds like pure hell," Alex said, with a small smile.

"I know, right? What's wrong with me?" Amy sighed.

"I think you're not in love with me," Alex said. "Which is really a bummer for me. But also, you're about to cry which means this date is not going well. So let's just chill."

"Does that mean we just have sex?"

"Not if you keep crying around me," Alex said. "No, I think maybe we should break up. Just chill was probably an overly casual way to say that."

"What are you going to tell your sisters?"

"That you said sex with me was incredible," Alex said. "Maybe not the rest where you can't love me."

"I just don't. It's a character flaw on my part, totally," Amy said.

She moped a few days. Dina told her to smile and Amy flipped her off. Then Dina said, "You know I saw that."

"That was the point," Amy said.

"There's that fire back," Dina said. 

She spent an embarrassing amount of time singing "I want to know what love is" in the car. She didn't eat enough unless she was sneaking a sugar log at work. 

Amy was playing with her broccoli and cheese soup in the break room when Jonah sat down across from her. He said, "Hey, breakups suck."

"They really do," she said. 

"I broke up with Kelly because I wasn't in love with her," Jonah said. "Dina said that's why you broke up with Alex. So I really sympathize."

"That's a coincidence," Amy said. "You didn't love Kelly, huh. You almost moved in with her."

"I know, it was really cruel of me. I've been having a year. A lot of years. I really have been meditating," Jonah said. "Like, I have to agree with what my PopPop said, it was crazy to just flip out and and drive to Missouri and get a job. And then I stayed. And I liked it. And then I was punished because all my things were destroyed. And punished more because Garrett didn't like me anymore. Then Kelly thought she was pregnant for a week, which was, honestly, horrifying. False positive, though. But I was an asshole about it. I really didn't want to have a child with her and wouldn't you know it, the lady who believes in angels think abortion is just wrong. Thank God she doesn't protest clinics, she's just low-key anti-choice. And a little anti-semitic. She doesn't think she is, but there were some remarks made."

"But she's not pregnant," Amy said. "Your kids would be short."

"Your kid is short," Jonah said. "And Adam is her dad." 

"I couldn't think of anything else to say. That all sounds really horrible. Except I don't think Garrett doesn't like you anymore," she said. 

"He never liked me," Jonah said, nodding.

"No," Amy said. "It's hard. Why didn't I love Alex? He's perfect for me. We would have adorable Latino babies."

"You did say you wanted more kids," Jonah said.

"Right, I did say that. But not with Adam. Or Alex."

"Maybe it's because of the A name thing. You should date someone whose name doesn't start with an A. But not Marcus."

"Marcus makes me want to leave the entire letter M out," Amy said. "Why would I even date Marcus? And Mateo wouldn't even want me."

"Sometimes that feels like a good thing," Jonah said. He smiled at her and she automatically smiled back. 

A few hours later, Amy sat down next to Garrett. She said, "Did you ever like Jonah?"

"Nope," Garrett said. 

"Okay then," Amy said. "Why? You pretended to like him more last year."

"Maybe I did," Garrett said. "I'm a man of mystery."

"Maybe you're just a dick," Amy said. "More than you used to be."

"Maybe you don't know anything about me or my issues," Garrett said. 

"So this is going great," Amy said. 

She went back to Jonah. "Hey, Alex and I signed up skydiving lessons and he admitted he didn't really want to, and you mentioned something about indoor rock climbing so maybe you would be up for it?"

Jonah, oddly, agreed. They went to the three classes they needed to take before the big skydiving jump. 

Jonah drove her home. "When do they teach us about free falling? Going splat?"

"Never. We're going to be fine. That should be your line," Amy said.

"Just because you think you're in a good place in your life, we'll be totally safe," Jonah said. "That sounds like something to bet on."

"Don't you like adventure? A little risk? You got in your car and drove away from your problems, there's risk," Amy said.

"Cloud 9, though, that's not exactly adventure," Jonah said. 

Adam had decided they should sell the house and the house was finally sold. Amy had taken her share of the money and paid off most of her credit cards. She was living in a tiny two bedroom, but she liked it fine. It was 100% hers. That's where Jonah dropped her off. 

The actual skydiving was amazing. Amy had never felt so free and terrified and she screamed and maybe almost orgasmed. She landed and waited for Jonah to come down. He immediately threw up. "I'm never doing that again," he said.

"I would do it every day if I could," Amy said. "I think we're fundamentally incompatible."

"You think it's revealing of character?"

"I'm making a joke, doofus," Amy said. She brushed his cheek and kissed him there. "Thank you for doing it with me. I'll take Emma next time."

"That's frightening. But I bet Emma would love it," Jonah said. "Maybe we can find another adventure we both like."

"Is that a come on?" Amy grinned. 

"Oh, wow, that's a bad come on," Jonah grinned. "And I just threw up."

"We'll save it for later," Amy said.

She did take Emma to skydiving lessons. Emma loved it. She was Amy's daughter through and through. Adam thought it was horrifying, but there were a lot of safeguards. She showed the pictures off to everyone at work.

Dina, heavily pregnant, looked totally envious. Amy apologized. "We can go after."

"I have no intention of throwing myself out of a plane unless it's on fire. Do you have any idea how many things you're not supposed to do when you're pregnant? It's pure hell. And my body is so weird. What's wrong with my hair? Why are my gums so sensitive?"

Amy actually took Dina's hand and led her back to the tornado shelter. "Pregnancy is fucked up, honey," Amy said. "It's beautiful, and you're making a baby, a new life, but also, your entire body is rearranging itself to nurture that life. Like, everything in your body, including your nails and your gums is all about making this baby. It's all your body is doing."

"You'd think my body could spare a thought or a few stray moments to let me brush my teeth?" Dina was near tears. "This is awful."

"Yeah, parts of it. But also, you look hot. And it's like natural hair extensions. People pay for what your hair is now," Amy said.

"You think I could sell it?"

"This isn't exactly Little Women times," Amy said. "But heck, maybe."

"Sometimes you don't suck," Dina said. "But mostly, though, your life is horrible."

"I know," Amy said. She patted Dina's shoulder. 

Amy drove to Jonah's house to see what adventure he'd come up with. "How about you get a tattoo?" He smiled as he said it. "I'm not getting one, but you could. Is that an adventure?"

"No, I already got a tattoo. After we sold the house. I just didn't tell you. It's Emma's birthday and a big elaborate heart. Like, my sister thinks it looks so trashy, it's awesome," she said. She pulled up her shirt to show him the tattoo on her side.

"Oh, so that's new," Jonah said. "You didn't have that when, I mean I didn't see it, at the photo lab."

"Oh, right, right," Amy said. "I'm sorry about that. I mean, it feels sort of cruel."

"No, it's fine," Jonah said. "It's fine, of course. I have to think of another adventure."

"One that we can both do, dumbo." She plopped down on his couch. She looked around his apartment. "You're not being punished, you know. Maybe it's a Jewish thing? Life happens. Garrett, you know, he really really cared about Dina. He refused to admit it. As you might expect. But it put him in a bad mood all year, cause she just got over him, started dating someone else. Which, of course, he would never admit. Not even once. And definitely not to you. Because he likes you. Hell, he only told me because he was incredibly drunk. I mean, wow, drunk. We're going skydiving, by the way. Garrett said assisted diving is a big thing in the wheelchair community."

"Well, that's good to know I guess," Jonah said. "It's not a Jewish thing. Also, you don't get to say Jewish thing." He sat down next to her. 

"You don't get to say Latino or Latinx or Latina thing," Amy said.

"That seems pretty fair, frankly."

She looked at his pretty pretty face. He looked like someone soft, which he was. In a good way. She sighed. "For our adventure, we could try dating or something."

He said, "Me? You date me?"

"You date Garrett isn't really an adventure I want to go on. I'm not Elias, I am not a throuple person," she said. 

"Oh," Jonah said. "Oh."

"I can make you say oh for a different reason," Amy said, smirking. 

"You already have," Jonah said. "Sorry."

"Like, like, oh, you have totally jacked off to me fucking Alex," Amy said. She laughed a little and got on his lap. "Were you picturing yourself?"

"With Alex," Jonah said.

"He was great in bed," Amy said.

"I believe you," Jonah said. "But also you. Mostly I was picturing me having sex with you. Which I would love to do."

"I love that idea," Amy said. "But also, we can do it more than once. Like, not to get too assertive, but like, dating."

"Wow, dating. That's a lot. Okay, great," Jonah said, nodding. He pulled her closer on his lap. She could feel his erection which was good, that felt good. "I'm into dating."

She kissed him and ground down on his dick. "God, me, too." She could love him forever, she thought. She probably already did.


End file.
